


A Practice in Happy Memories

by Regrettablewritings



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: AU where all That Nonsense didn’t occur, F/M, Reference to Credence’s upbringing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-11
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2019-09-16 04:10:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16946754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Regrettablewritings/pseuds/Regrettablewritings
Summary: A discussion over dinner leads to the meaning of a Patronus Charm and what it can mean for the caster.





	A Practice in Happy Memories

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact: Back when I wrote this, I did so all on my phone because my laptop was essentially done for! ... It shows 8)

You always felt a little guilty whenever you performed magic in front of Credence. Despite his clear potential and strength in magical abilities, he was incredibly far back in terms of structure and discipline and therefore couldn’t readily concoct a decent spell to save his life. Not that he would; the poor dear was filled to the brim with worry over who he could harm or what he could damage, still recovering from that unfortunate day when he broke down into Obscurial form. 

But he was quite happy to watch you make objects float or transform one thing into another. And you, being his loving other half, were not one to disappoint. Sometimes after his lessons with Tina or Queenie, he would come back excitedly and ask if you were aware of or able to perform that day’s lesson as well. Sometimes, you would smile lightly and shake your head; but usually, you were capable enough. It was one day when he came back from his lessons, quieter than usual. 

Sure, he nodded at you and offered a quiet response to your greeting him when he entered your shared apartment that evening. He even returned the hug you gave him, as Credence normally would. But there seemed to be a lack of focus in it. It just didn’t have as much … What was the word? Credence-ish charm?

You questioned him lightly about today’s lesson, curious but not wanting to prod. Credence would give small but technically sufficient answers like, “It went well” or “Ms. Tina said my wrist technique is getting better.“ 

Dinner, while normally quiet, felt altogether conversationally bankrupt. Usually it was quiet because shared moments between you and Credence were, in their very nature, quiet: he was a shy boy and while you were more outspoken by comparison, you weren’t that much more verbose than he. And yet, it didn’t fail to startle you when he finally spoke as you brought out pie for dessert. 

“Do you have a Patronus?” he said. It was soft and low, much like most of what Credence said, yet it seemed to weigh heavily in the air like an erumpent. 

Your head cocked, “Pardon?“ 

The boy’s pale cheeks grew a twinge of rouge as he stammered, "I – I just meant – Ms. Tina told me about Patronuses. And how it’s usually like a burst of light or vapory but … But if you’re really skilled about it, it can turn into an animal. Or something …” He began to fidget. “I know you keep saying you’re not, but I really do think you’re very talented with … with magic." 

Your own cheeks began to bloom with rose. 

"Well,” you smirked. “I haven’t done it in a while but …” You plucked your wand up from its place on the table and, ever the showoff, proudly spoke, “Expecto Patronum!" 

A stream of light emerged from your wand before taking the form of your Patronus: A silvery dove flew gracefully throughout the room, not disturbing any of the surroundings it grazed so much as it bathed a portion of it in a wisp of light vapor. 

Credence, of course, was amazed, his eyes following every movement your dove made until it eventually appeared to evaporate, it’s summoning expired. 

"A dove …?” he finally spoke. You shrugged. 

“A dove,“ you confirmed.   
“May I – is it okay if I ask why?” Once again, you offered a mere shrug.

"Patronuses are a little complex, dear. They got something to do with the person who makes ‘em. Like who they are or what animal they like the most. Something like that. Though I heard it can change throughout life.“ You settled yourself back into your seat as you prepared to cut the previously forgotten pie. 

While you were quite happy to dig into your slice, it didn’t take long for you to notice that Credence was merely picking at his own. Once again, you found yourself asking what was the matter. This time, it was his term to offer a shrug, more docile than yours. 

"Ms. Tina told me that in order to do it, you have to think of your happiest memory,” he answered. What he said next was in a voice you hadn’t heard him use in ages, not since his days being fresh from under Mary-Lou Barebone’s guardianship. It was this quiet, disheartened voice and what it delivered that broke your heart: “I guess this means I might not be able to ever do the Patronus Charm …" 

The clatter of your fork and the screeching of your chair contrasted brutally with the soft somberness of Credence’s voice. Your tight, familiar embrace soon followed, encompassing his shoulders and neck as you awkwardly tried hugging him from your position on your feet and too his side, and his own position in his chair. 

“Don’t say that,” you said. It was in a gentle but nevertheless stern and insisting tone. One you used whenever Credence lapsed back into the dispiriting mode Mary-Lou had literally beat into him, as a means to remind him that he was never who he was told he was. 

“Credence, I know you can do it. You’ll just need practice, that’s all. Some good old practice like every witch or wizard needs and you’ll be just fine!” Your voice returned to its normal cheeriness upon the last sentence’s delivery as you moved yourself into a position where you could simply face your beloved and flash him that smile he loved so much. 

“Besides, you’ve had nicer memories recently, right? Tina and Queenie’s lessons, the first time you got to go to Jacob’s bakery and eat for free, Newt showing you his suitcase, the moon calves … Meeting me!" 

You’d meant for that last part to be a joke (somewhat). Unfortunately, it was a joke Credence failed to capture. He slouched with guilt. Your smile faltered; so much for his progress in posture. 

"I know,” he responded, same saddened voice. “I’ve thought about all those things. I tried. I really did” – At this point, your grin fell completely; his insistence sounded like a small child who had tried and failed in earnest to comprehend a subject that they just couldn’t get the grasp of – “But every time I get close enough … I hear _her_." 

You couldn’t help but press your lips and furrow your brow. "Her”, being Mary-Lou, was never a good thing. When you and Credence had first gotten together, he was still quiet fragmented from his treatment under the vile woman. Who could blame him? 

All those years of cruelty and mental distortion, those countless times she convinced him that he was a child sullied by the ways of the world and needed to answer for it with the lash of his own belt. As painful as the whippings were, it became very apparent that what hurt most of all were Mary-Lou’s words. These verbal criticisms, embellishments of things he had done or even didn’t do, they shot into his mind and bit like bullets. Ones, he eventually convinced himself, that were well-deserved and thus needed to stay in no matter how much he bled for it. 

These thoughts eventually morphed beyond what Mary-Lou initially intended, taking lives of their own: You don’t deserve friends, you don’t deserve this new life, not after what you’ve caused. Even after her demise, the actions done were too great to just forget or get over. Especially after his little rampage in Obscurial form. It had taken literal months to even so much as chip the surface of this problem with Credence but he was making surprising baby steps in progress with you as his biggest source of encouragement. So whenever he felt that damnable woman was back in his head, whispering things and pulling him back into the darkness, you’d always felt a fury inside you, angry that such a good person would now have to suffer and be held back even at the slightest for possibly the rest of his life. It was with the revelation of this latest “return” that you, without thinking, took Credence’s hand into your own. 

“Credence,“ you said. "Please look at me.” He kept his head down, out of guilt from either his failure to produce a Patronus Charm or from his failure to keep Mary-Lou from his mind. It was very likely both. You sighed. 

“… When I casted my first ever Patronus charm, it was just a simple blob of light. And the thing I thought about was when my parents gave me the doll I’d seen in a shop window for my sixth birthday.” You gingerly began to curl your fingers around Credence’s palm. 

“And it stayed like that with that being my happiest memory until I reached my sixth year at Ilvermorny – that’s when it turned into a dove because I gained more focus. The happiest memory I had then was when I got my first kiss from a boy I insisted was my true love." 

You felt Credence’s shoulders tense as his fingers twitched. Mary-Lou must have begun to whisper things into his head again: _She’s thinking of someone else, you don’t deserve her, she’s not happy with you–_

You quickly followed it up to drown her out. "But when I used it just now? The thing I thought of, the thing that makes me the happiest to remember? It’s when I met you." 

If his shoulders could tense any further, they probably had. It was a slow movement, but Credence did lift his his head to your revelation. His brows furrowed with confusion over his dark eyes. You, on the other hand, wore a small but warm smile. 

He was expecting that comment to have been a joke: You two had met not long after his breakdown across New York City. He was tired, somehow paler than usual, emotionally fatigued, clothes a complete mess (retrieved from a church that accepted clothing donations), and his outlook on life was projected through his eyes: bleak and without energy. 

While Credence had very little confidence in his sense of self, he could easily assure that the state he was in when you’d first met was not the state he would have liked to have been in if he could redo the situation. And yet, a taunt or giggle was never released. You’d really meant it. 

“But – but I was –" 

“Tired, stressed, maybe a little empty … But you were still my Credence who I love so dearly today.”

“I looked awful.“ 

“–Ly cute. You seriously shouldn’t underestimate how you look in a baggy sweater, Hun.“ 

“How could that have been your happiest moment? What about that time we went to Coney Island? Or even Mr. Kowalski’s bakery? Or – or –?" 

“Those are some of my favorite memories, Credence, and nothing is going to change that. But none of those would’ve happened if I hadn’t met you first.” And with that, the young man went quiet. Not from his usual nervousness but from finding himself silently stunned. 

You took it as an opportunity to carry on. “Credence, I can’t take away what happened to you though God knows I wish I could … And I’m not going to sugarcoat it and suggest you get over it because that’s not how it works. But I just want you to know that no matter how long it takes, even if it takes as many lifetimes as, say, Albus Dumbledore –" 

"Pardon?" 

“–I’ll be with you every step of the way. And if the happiest memories you got right now aren’t good enough, then … I’ll make all kinds of happy moments. All for you! You’ll have so many happy memories that it’s gonna crush that Bare-bitch’s voice out, you’ll have all kinds of Patronuses!”

If you hadn’t already been smiling so joyfully, so hyped up by your own words of encouragement, you would have at the mere sight of your Credence upon hearing you say what you had. It wasn’t that smiles were a completely foreign concept to him, not especially after your entry into his life. But it still never ceased to amaze and warm you up inside whenever one grazed his lips. It was in that shared moment of happiness that he decided to take an initiative he almost never took on his own, leaning upward to press his lips against yours.

You’d decided that even as your first meeting being your happiest memory, this kiss right now was surely a close runner-up. 

You both were quiet upon separation, with you wanting to just take in the moment and with Credence, while quite pleased with himself, was pink-cheeked and looking anywhere but at you. Smiles, however, were both still intact. 

It was therefore somewhat of a shock when he broke the silence, but in his regular voice, with, 

“(Y/N)? I think I’d like to try performing a Patronus Charm now.“ You made no attempt to question his certainty. Immediately you retracted from his form, allowing for him to get up and retrieve his own wand from his side and to provide him the space needed. 

“Remember,” you said gently. He positioned his arm in preparation. “I’m right here.” Credence nodded slightly. 

"Expecto Patronum.”

It wasn’t loud or necessarily enthusiastic. But it wasn’t fragile and trembling to the cusp of collapse either. It was passionate, subtly triumphant. It had an underlying essence of an embrace wrapped around a feeling of acceptance.

And for a moment, it looked like a mere vapor, just as you had expected his first successful attempt would be. What you didn’t expect, much less Credence, was that merely two seconds later, it began to morph. 

It grew legs – thin, bony ones – and a body just as skeletal. A whip-like tail lashed through the air as its narrow, gaunt face shook into life. Its wings, like a bat, stayed open as it galloped through the air and around the dining room, leaving wisps of vapor and light in its wake. 

Your mouth hung in complete awe as your frantically blinked as though just the right amount would disprove what you were seeing. Credence, on the other hand, appeared slightly horrified.   
_What in Merlin’s name had he produced?_ Was it a mistake? Did he mess up? Did he not focus hard enough? Was … was the happiest memory he could think up not good enough? 

“… Thestral,” you breathed, snapping Credence out of his worried trance.

"What?” Credence questioned in a mix of both dismay and confusion. Your eyes never left his Patronus. 

“It’s a thestral,” you repeated. "They’re often seen as a bad thing because you can only see them if you’ve seen death” – Credence’s heart plummeted. Of course he’d only be able to summon such a miserable creature. – “and a lot of people may find them scary or unapproachable. Bad luck even.” It was what he deserved. “But they’re actually very sweet creatures. Misunderstood, but wonderful. Smart, loyal, gentle …” 

You finally turned to look at Credence and smiled glowingly. “I think it’s a perfect fit for my sweet, kind, loyal, clever Credence." 

Credence’s cheeks burned, deciding to quickly return his attention to his thestral. "What’s more,” you continued, “is that having a magical creature as a Patronus is exceedingly rare. I’d dare say that you are not only a natural, dear Credence, but an exceedingly rare one at that." 

You made certain to clarify how proud you were of him in your tone and he noticed. You’d decided that that was enough of making him blush. 

“Maybe I should introduce my Patronus to yours … Expecto Patronum!” You waved your wand, expecting the dove to come swooping out and into the path of Credence’s thestral. That expectation fell to the floor and shattered. What stayed up in the air and alongside Credence’s thestral was another thestral.

Your thestral. 

They glided and trotted in the air alongside each other, enjoying one another’s company as they fazed through the table and the long-forgotten plates of pie. You and Credence, however, could only stare with complete confusion. You stared at your wand, back at your new Patronus, and then at Credence. You cracked a smile. 

“Well,” you giggled sheepishly, “I did say that Patronuses can change depending on what a person likes the most.” What more could you say?

Apparently nothing, as Credence wordlessly took your hand in his, smile ever-present, face burning with blush as he kept his gaze on yours and yours on his. 

In any future instances where you would use the Patronus Charm, you would try to think of when you and Credence had first met. But, in the end, you would always come back to this moment in the kitchen one evening during dinner.


End file.
